personal

Pursuits and Permission

I like blogging. I’ve grown to like writing more because of it. I’ve become comfortable with this platform. I love the conversations with engaging people whose blogs I enjoy.

I also continue to learn many things. I learned for example that with blogging, I can write more casually and forego some formal English rules so I sound more human vs textbook.

I notice that I pepper my sentences with lol or start them with conjunctions like and, buts and or (which I try to never do on paper). I also realized that while native English speakers spell worse, my spelling is still bad (ie. when I typed scarey instead of scary or annihalate instead of annihilate).

Puede din ako magsulat ng ganito. Puede magpapalit-palit ng language. Mag-Taglish. O kaya Bisaya kasi hindi naman to isusubmit sa teacher na gusto either straight English or straight Tagalog ang paper. It’s also more natural for me to switch languages like I’m conversing. I learned this from bloggers that I love reading from.

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Okay, these are not preambles to an announcement that I am closing the blog. Haha!

Far from it. I’ve really been enjoying this. It’s just that, true to my distracted self, I have started dabbling in other platforms too. Or shall we say, other forms of self expression. Like I said, I don’t see an end in sight for my blogging. These are more of add-on’s.

I’ve agonized over creating a YouTube channel for a while. I’ve had an Instagram account that I can’t seem to figure out. Aaaand! I secretly uploaded over 5 podcast episodes that I recommend you listen to if you want to cringe or if you’re just trying to sleep.

If I’m honest with myself, I’d say that my reason for telling you about this is because I feel that I need:

  • permission
  • encouragement
  • validation

to start whatever it is I want to do. Or to pursue a possible flight of fancy. That’s the problem.

Why am I burdening someone else for a decision that will mainly affect me? Why am I giving you the “power” to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do? In other words, why do I care what others think of me?

I guess it’s a very human and normal thing to do. Funny how I list stop people pleasing as one of my pieces of advice to my younger self and I am still grappling with that now.

At the moment it’s baby steps like the tedious podcast episodes in straight English and that one long faceless chat on IGTV. They get me all excited about the endless things I want to share and chat about. They also cripple me with the thought that I’d have to show my face or emphasize my voice.

But you’re usually awful at something before you improve and get effortlessly good, right?

Anyway, I’d really like to follow my own advice. Who knows I’ll get there eventually just as I turned from avid blog reader to blog writer who has grown comfortable and happy with this space. 

I hope you are having a great day fellow bloggers and blog readers!

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6 thoughts on “Pursuits and Permission

  1. Girl where can I find the podcast?? I also watched your IGTV ‘show.’ Ang simple pero ang saya! Para akong may kausap na hindi ko kausap haha. Same pala tayo ng watercolor sketchpad, yung blue, tsaka mom ko rin nagbigay sa akin ng book ni Marie Kondo (pinapatamaan yata nila tayo haha).

    Keep doing all these — blogging, calligraphy, podcasts, etc! Supportive internet friend ako! Mag donate ako kahit pa-loonie loonie sa Patreon mo hehehe. 😊

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